if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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