I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
