Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
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whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
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Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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