if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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