Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
