ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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