have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
