honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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