Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
