just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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