I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
