Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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