I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
