and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I will be naked everywhere
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I want to fling myself into the sun
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
