Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
