Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Also, beer. Big fan.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
