Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
