Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
porn star boner night. come get it.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize