Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
