I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
