WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
