why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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