Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
