i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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