someone threw a dead crab at me
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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