Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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