you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
