and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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