So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
