Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?