how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this