what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.