An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Randomize
