I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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