Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize