I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
