Your face is a jimmy john
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize