yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
