I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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