Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
