OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
