dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.