she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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