mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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