she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
