Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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