I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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