i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
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For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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