so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize