just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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