drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
