We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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