My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
