bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
