i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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