so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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